So we are almost halfway through the semester, and life is falling apart. I have been to the hospital almost weekly for mental health issues, and I’ve been hospitalized for severe health problems. I have been a distraction to myself and my learning.

With all this going on, something had to change.

Last week, I made the wise, bold decision to take Medical Leave from Luther College. That means that I will be leaving Luther due to medical conditions that are preventing me to get my college education. The earliest I will return to campus would be Spring Semester, beginning in February. However, if I am not ready in February, I can return next Fall.

When I am home, I am going to work. I’m going to physically work, yes, to earn money. I am also going to work mentally and emotionally. In these two categories, I have a lot of work to do. I will be seeing medical professionals and working on coping skills and mental and emotional resilience. I will have a long road ahead of me, but I’m prepared to put in the work. I’m ready to get down and dirty, so I can come back stronger than ever.

This was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I’ve struggled to put myself first. I tend to put my family, friends, and schoolwork before myself. I tend to put myself last, which only makes things worse. This decision was a big step in taking care of myself and working on prioritizing me.

It’s been a long road, and I have greatly enjoyed my time at Luther. I look forward to coming back, and I’m really sad to leave everyone here. However, at the end of the day, this was the best decision for me, and everyone at Luther has been respectful, understanding, and very compassionate. I’m grateful for my friends, family, and professors here at Luther College. I wouldn’t have made it a week without my supports, and they have proved themselves to me over and over.

I leave Friday. It feels far away, yet it’s so close. I’m ready to go home, but I don’t want to leave. I’m in a weird place, where I’m at peace with my decision, but I still feel anxious and conflicted. It’s unsettling, but I’m learning to be at total peace. I’ll get there. Not today. Not tomorrow. But someday. And all will be well. I believe it. That’s what matters