Ending Old Chapters

I finally did it!!!! After about a month and a half of putting it off, I finally did it!!

What is it that I did? I finally told Luther College that I’m not coming back!

This isn’t necessarily a totally happy event, but I’m just proud that I actually sent the email!

When I found out I was moving to Texas, I was devastated. I was still set on going back to Luther, and I knew that wasn’t going to be possible if my family was living in College Station (16 hours away). I struggled bad enough when my family lived 5 hours away, so how the hell was I going to do it when the distance was about triple????

But I held off on sending the email to kill the dream. I thought that just maybe I could fix myself and pull everything together enough to go back. Maybe-just maybe-I could do it.

That was my inner dreamer talking. And don’t worry, she’s still alive and kicking, but she has new dreams now.

My inner realist knew that Luther wasn’t going to be possible, and that I was only hurting myself by holding on for dear life. So, I finally decided to do it.

After being accepted to Blinn College, I knew I had a place to go. I knew I had a solid plan, and I had my parents’ backing and approval. So knowing that I had a solid foothold and a timeline, I cut Luther off.

Tonight, about 10 minutes ago, I sent the email to Student Life, Financial Aid, Financial Services, and my Advisor, saying that I’m not coming back in Fall of 2020 like I had initially intended. I apologized for any inconveniences caused, and just explained my situation.

And you know what????

IT FEELS GREAT! I must have been holding on to a lot more than I realized, because as soon as that email sent, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders.

It feels good to start a new chapter. I think I’ve grieved my losses and pitied myself for long enough. I think I’ve accepted that I’m home now, and that I need to learn to take smaller steps. I know my own faults, and I’m working on it. Regardless, I am closing one door, and another is opening.

I’m really confident that I’ll fit in well at Blinn. And if I don’t, there’s plenty of other colleges in Texas. I’m absolutely positive that I’m bound to find at least one that I like, and where I belong.

So I’m really happy to say that my latest chapter has come to a close, and I couldn’t be more excited to start this new chapter! Stay tuned to see what happens next!!!