this anger

is what a little girl could not feel

this anger

is what a child did not know she would feel

this anger

is how anger feels after building for years

this anger

is the anger of reliving the same memories in a new body

this anger

is the anger of having to deal with “same shit, different day”

almost 15 years apart

this fear

is the fear of reliving years of shadowy memories

in a span of days and hours

this fear

is the fear of an eternity of “same shit, different day”

this fear

is the fear of always being tired

this fear

is the fear of perceived impossibility

this fear

is the fear of being entirely helpless even as the years go by

this sadness

is the sadness of feeling the exact same in the “same shit”

no matter how different the days are

this sadness

is the sadness of solidarity with the little girl

this sadness

is the sadness of understanding what the little girl could not

this sadness

is the sadness of beginning to truly see

the exhaustion of the little girl’s father

mirrored in her own eyes

this sadness

is the overwhelming sadness

of seeing too many problems

and too few solutions

while there is hope

hope for tomorrow

she is too tired to see it today

so for today

she chooses to sit with the little girl

and hold her

for if nothing else

though she is angry

though she is scared

though she is sad

though she is tired

the little girl doesn’t have to be alone

anymore