In all complete honesty, I don’t want to write this. But to continue to say nothing makes me complicit in what is happening, and I can no longer stand idly by. Warning, there’s going to be profanity in this. I know swearing doesn’t always portray intelligence, and is often a sign of anger. I won’t deny that I’m angry. I’m going to try my best to contain it, but if you can honestly tell me you’re not angry at this situation, then I would highly recommend you go back and actually look at what’s happening.

My whole life has been swamped in religion. My dad’s a pastor. You can’t exactly avoid religion when being religious is a foundational part of your family’s identity. I used to be proud of my religion. I would tell people I was Lutheran. Specifically part of the ELCA. I was proud of that. I cannot say that today.

As I got older, I began to learn and understand some of the flaws and faults of the ELCA and how it was hurting my family (and how it hurt me without my knowledge). I began to see how much my parents were shielding from me and my sisters, and if I’m being honest, I don’t understand why my dad is still a pastor. I used to say I wanted to be a pastor. I cannot say that anymore.

As the situation with Bishop Rohrer continues to develop, I have read. I have listened. I have processed. I have tried to wrap my head around my own feelings and come to terms with the strange truth that I find comfort knowing people are seeking justice for the wrongs committed. I will never have justice for the wrongs done to my family, so I find myself living vicariously through the events that are unfolding. But then I have to remind myself that this isn’t about me.

This is about a system that preaches a gospel of truth and freedom while continuing systemic oppression and abuse. This is about a group of people that pretend to be “progressive,” and “understanding,” while allowing people in power to be judge, jury, and executioner. Bishop Rohrer is not the first bishop I know that has used their power to enact their own justice (but the story of the bishop I have in mind is not my story to tell). The ELCA needs to get its shit together or it needs to dissolve.

Prime example of how not to get your shit together: Bishop Eaton’s pathetic excuse of an attempt to save face. I read Eaton’s statement that was released on the 27th. Then I read it again. I read it a few more times. I do not understand how Rohrer’s complete disregard for protocol, blatant discrimination, and unwarranted threats against an entire community are not enough grounds for disciplinary action. What kind of example is Eaton (and therefore the entire ELCA as an institution) showing the world? But yeah, sure. Create another fucking task force. Send another group of delegates to another area to put a piece of scotch tape on a bursting pipe.

The ELCA is no longer a church of action. I don’t know that I believe it was ever a church of action. I should not be finding comfort in the fact that I am not alone in the suffering this institution has caused me, but I do. I should not look to a statement put out by someone the people trusted and draw comparisons to situations that happened to me. And honestly, it hurts worse because I’m protected. I’m in the majority. I can’t begin to fathom how these people must feel. But instead of considering the real harm done and the feelings of the victims, Eaton and the ELCA (the institution) have chosen to placate themselves, give the perpetrator a slap on the wrist, and send out “thoughts and prayers.”

Like many others I have read from and listened to, I am done. I refuse to be a part of this system. I have been reaching my breaking point for a very long time now, and this was it. I want to have hope. I believe change is possible, but not like this. I know the “right” people won’t read this, but I know you’re reading it now. Thoughts and prayers aren’t enough. Empty words aren’t enough. Task forces sent to placate those in power aren’t enough. “Calls for Resignation” aren’t enough.

In the name of healing, these people need actions. They need real change. They need justice. Not revenge. Not retribution. JUSTICE. Bishop Megan Rohrer needs to be held accountable for their actions. Bishop Eaton needs to be held accountable for her silence and what I am not afraid to call complete incompetence.

The slogan of the ELCA is “God’s Work. Our Hands.” If the ELCA wants to keep that as it’s slogan, it needs to take a serious look at the work committed by the hands it ordains.