“At least a woman won a woman’s competition.”

While scrolling on TikTok, I came across a video about a former Beauty Pageant woman (Lauren Seeley) commenting on the hate comments she’s seen thrown at the latest winner of the Miss America Pageant. She commented how people are being so unkind. And there at the top of the comments section: “At least a woman won a woman’s competition.”

If you’re hoping for me to remain calm and stay silent to maintain peace, this is your cue to leave this article.

What happened to “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”? What happened to privacy and people minding their own business? What happened to maintaining a basic level of respect for the dignity of human beings?

The comment section underneath that comment was a slew of comments supporting the original comment and agreeing that there is only men and women, yet there were also comments arguing that trans women are women (which they are). Normally, I would roll my eyes and move on, but this time I commented on someone claiming that chromosomes were definitive and couldn’t change. So, I commented that intersex people exist and there is biological proof that for some people, their chromosomes don’t match their gender.

The original commenter saw my comment about intersex and decided to let me know that while being intersex was rare, it was still natural, unlike being trans (which was a mental illness according to him).

Transgender Individuals and acts of gender non-conformity have existed as long as time itself. There have always been transgender people, and there will always be transgender people. You don’t have to understand, and a lot of people never will. You honestly don’t even need to agree. But you HAVE TO RESPECT A PERSON’S RIGHT TO DIGNITY.

You DO NOT have the right to tell someone what they are or are not.

You DO NOT have the right to decide who gets to love who.

You DO NOT have the right to say someone is unworthy of living a complete life because you don’t agree with their choices.

People you know are trans. If you don’t know anyone who is trans, then I’m more than willing to bet it’s because they don’t trust you enough to be honest. Many of my friends are trans or non-binary. Many of the people I love are trans or non-binary. I am queer and gender non-conforming. If you want to get specific, I am pansexual and a demi-girl (a more specific variation on trans where I most closely identify with being a girl/woman, but sometimes I don’t associate with any gender at all).

Which of you will look me in the eyes and tell me I don’t deserve to live the best life I can imagine for myself?

Which of you will look at me and tell me that I am less than anyone else just because I don’t fit into a neat little box?

Are you going to tell me that I shouldn’t be able to get married?

That I shouldn’t be able to have kids?

That I shouldn’t be able to work with kids?

No. I know for a fact that no one that reads this article that actually knows me would dare say any of this to me. So why would you say it to anyone else?